UGH ON BAD DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i went to get advised today and i told dr. smith that i wanted to change majors and she was like ok so she sent me to talk to this other teacher about it and i was like ok i want to major in elementary edu. and minor in music and he was like ok but if u do that u cant teach music.. i was like WHAT! ugh so i went back to dr. smith and she was like ill work with u to see if u can still be music certified.. so we made out my schedule for next year and nothing really changed.. like if im minoring in music then im still doin music classes that i would be doing anyways if i was majoring in music... make sense? so im like whats the point.. i might as well major in music.. then i looked over my degree plan and it isnt as hard as i thought it would be to stay a music major.. so i guess thats what im going to do... i just hate going back and forth on what i want to do.. plus my mom and dad really dont want me to not be a music major.. like my dad esp. he like called me the other day just to say that i can do whatever i want just not to get discouraged with music and stick with it and stuff.. like i know i can do it.. kinda..ugh! its just so hard but not really.. im stressed, the end..

and to top it all off my stomach isnt getting better-- my mom told me to call the doctor but i dont want to b/c they cant do anything and i cant go see him b/c it is too hard to work around his schedule and my schedule at short notice... and im worrying about my wisdom teeth.. like i cant really get them out until summer but i cant wait that long.. ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh!

so i want this stress to go away... now :(

hehe yay for watching tv all day yesterday...
me and tim watched Maury, then Dr. Phil, THEN oprah... man oprah was sad yesterday.. it made me and tim cry! hahaha but it was really sad.. cant wait to watch oprah again today! yay!

i need to talk to wendi's dad... we found a bunch of houses for him to look at and he is suppose to be coming home from arizona today so hopefully he can come out to huntsville soon..

blah on computer science..

school is really starting to bug me now.. ugh!

getting advised today.. :(

ok almost time for orchestra...

blah i really feel bad today :(

definitely dont want to go to orchestra or my lesson....

talked to kevin last night... good to know he is still alive, i dont know how after some of the stories he was telling me... way to cheat death dude... :)

and i talked to tri last night for a long time... i dont think he wanted to talk to me though... :(
i like to talk to tri he is soo kool :)
ME (10:45:44 PM): did u ever think me and tim would get together?
Tri (10:46:40 PM): no
Tri (10:46:47 PM): but i'm wrong about a lot of things
Tri (10:49:09 PM): well i dont think i've ever liked your boyfriends
Tri (10:49:18 PM): and he was one of my best friends
Tri (10:49:24 PM): so i didnt' think u'd like him
Tri (10:49:26 PM): i dunno

hehehe

ME (10:28:51 PM): u can be anything u want to be..
Tri (10:29:01 PM): thanks for your belief in me!

look how big my lilies are!!!!! yay im excited!!!!!! :)

http://gallery.recme.net/view_album.php?page=1

BLAH! i feel like crap again today :(

so i got an earlier appointment with an oral surgeon yay

piano sucks big ass hole..

yay for orchestra playing carmina burana! hahahahaha im excited i must say.. and for all you people in klein out there, we are playing it at the centrum on april 17th! come see us!

what else...

i want to cancel my lesson this week but i cant b/c i have to cancel next week b/c i have that appointment ugh...

yay for massive amounts of sleep yesterday.. :)

thats it for now.. i guess..

blah on today!

so yesterday me and tim went back to klein.. again...

we went to the mall with his family so they can switch their phone service.. now tim has the same service and the same phone as me... which is good b/c now i can talk to him for free...

man yesterday my wisdom teeth were hurting soo bad! so tim's dad gave me vicadan (or how ever u spell it) that stuff works good!!! hahaha.. but i have been feeling sick all weekend..

so then we went over to tim's uncle's house and they drank and stuff.. then we went over to wendi's house and hung out with her and sean for a bit.. i passed out early..

then this morning me and tim went to breakfast with my parents.. yay for breakfast buffet :) i have never seen tim eat so much french toast... it was insane..

so then we went back to my house and i got sick... blah.. yay for throwing up on the side of the road...
:( i felt like crap! :( so tim's mom gave me some medicine.. so we got back to h-ville around 12:30 and i fell asleep right when we got home and i just woke up around 7:30.. hopefully i can go to sleep tonight.. :(

well i think that is all for right now... oh tim made me a new email account :aprilmarie@recme.net so email me lots! :) ok time to go do something productive..

ok i dont know if i have blogged about this or not but i started reading this web site about like how to become a psychic... it is really interesting.. it explains a lot of stuff... i find it very interesting.. i know im not going to be able to tell the future or anything but it is still kool to read about..
here are some things i found interesting from the site:

Spirit Guide:
We all have at least one. We all have at least one who is with us from the day we are born . Most of us will also have some who will come and go at various stages in our lives. Their purpose is to aid us in one area, and when we have completed that life lesson they move forward as we do.
Spirit Guides can be different things... A ball of energy, Ascended Masters, Gaurdian Angels, Spirits who have or have not incarnated here before, animals , and more. I believe that "spirit" manifests for us in the way that is most comfortable and acceptable to us based on our backgrounds

Have you ever noticed that sometimes a completely unrelated thought will seem to just "pop" into your head for no apparent reason?
Have you ever awakened, or just all the sudden had a song or piece of a song start repeating itself over and over in your head?
Have you ever had a dream of a loved one who has passed or a dream where you "traveled" and it was very lucid, i.e. felt extremely real at the time?
Have you ever in your peripheral vision noticed a squiggly light or catch a glimpse of a flash of something passing beside you but when you tried to focus on it with your physical senses it was gone?
Have you ever taken on a rapid and inexplicable burst of emotion happy or sad?
Often these are forms of spirit communication which are so subtle we scarcely notice, if at all. Particularly with songs I have found that when people begin to pay attention to the words of songs that pop into their heads there is often a message contained therein from Spirit or as direction from their Higher Self, and that is their way of sort of giving it to you "subliminally"

i think that this is all so kool and it talks about dreams and their meanings and how spirits can communicate to you through your dreams.. i definitely believe all of it.. even last night i had a dream that was soo really and so meaning full.. i dreamt that there was like a memorial for spencer and everyone that i knew from klein oak was there but spencer was there too but he went away.. and i dreamt that greg had passed away too but he was there also and i was talking to him for a long time... and derrick was there but i didnt say anything to him i just walked up to him and rested my head on his shoulder.. it was all weird and so real.. and spencer's mom was there and she was selling earrings to pay for the funeral.. it was werid..
but all of my dreams about spencer are like that.. they are so real... and i always remember them.. i dunno.. i like to think he communicates with me in my dreams.. i know u think im crazy.. tim doesnt believe in anything like this.. but i do.. you have to believe in something...

Your Horoscope for March 27 , 2004

You may want to consider a way to bring in some extra cash. If you can get family members or perhaps a close friend to help you, it will make whatever you are going through far less stressful.

hmm...

me and tim went to go look for houses today.. we saw 4 and found a few more on a websites.. yay

ok so i went to wal mart by myself yesterday and the cashier guy was hitting on me! eww and he was so gross.. he was like hey u have a nice week so far and i was like yeah.. and he was like you go to university and i was like ya im a freshman and he was like yeah, i thought u looked a little young.. i was like ummmm ok.. and he kept asking me questions and i was like trying to run out of there..

tim just farted right now! and it was sooo freakishly loud.. yuck..

definitely being lazy today woohoo!

i got nothing else to say.. blah

ok nevermind my teacher wasnt there...

dana i hope you feel better!

totally failed my history test... UGH oh well..

i planted lilies in January and they are growing!!! im so excited!!! cant wait til the flowers bloom :)

right now im just takin a break.. i have been cleaning and doing laundry and stuff.. fun stuff...

well i finally got an appointment to see a surgeon about my wisdom teeth.. they are really starting to hurt now :(

so me and tim went to houston last night... i got my blood taken and we went to the bank and what not.. then we feel asleep at his house... so then when we were leaving at like 8 i asked him if he had his keys like i always do b4 we go somewhere.. and sure enough he didnt have them... they were lost! like we spent over an hour looking for his keys... then ended up being in one of his dresser drawers.. but we dont know how they got there.. so then we stopped by my house to say hi and then got got back to h-ville around 10:30.. i was sooo tired.. and good thing i didnt study for my history test i have in like 30mins.. great... oh well.. i can afford to bomb one test.. its all good..

and today i had a moment... i told my friend that i was quitting music and he was like y dont u just minor in music?? i was like OMG! i never thought of that! and supposedly its really easy to do so and i have most of the classes i need for it anyways.. so yay! ok i have to go talk to my teacher about it right now...
:)

today we played our children's concert at the Cynthia woods pavillion in the woodlands.. it was fun.. there were so many kids though.. and i have never been to the pavillion so it was kool. the bus driver was pissing me off though. ok the woodlands is a straight shot on 45 from huntsville.. the driver didnt take 45! he took 75 which took like an hour.. i was like come on!!!! just stay on 45.. it was stupid.. but anyways..

so my fish ate that entire bug!! gross! now the wings are just laying in the rocks.. haha

tonight i have to study hardcore for history.. it is going to suck.. and i have a singing quiz tomorrow! ugh..

ok the end

haha ok u might think im dumb but i thought this was funny..
so me tim and powell are going to taco bell and we were driving down the road and this CD just rolls across the street! i was in the back so i didnt see it but tim and powell did.. tim thought he was seeing things b/c there was nobody around.. i think thats hilarious b/c wtf was a cd just rolling across the street for!!?! hahaha :P

i miss taco bell thursdays... even when we didnt go to taco bell... :)

ok so we were watching that show Nip/Tuck.. man that is such a good show! we couldnt stop watching it.. i know that it has been out for like a year but they were like showing the first episode and it was really good... i liked it! :)

wow.. so im failing 2 classes... ok before you get all shocked and mad.. it isnt my fault.. but of course i have to fix it.. ugh!

but anyways... orchestra trip tomorrow.. woohoo! naw.. we are just going to the woodlands.. exciting huh? and its not like im missing any classes either.. just strings and orchestra.. blah

ok so last night i went out in the living room and there was one of those big mosquito bug things in my fish's tank! it was dead of course but i didnt want to touch it to get it out so i left it there.. then tim told me today that my fish ate the bugs body! i was like yucky! and sure enough.. there is just legs a head and wings floating in the water haha.. i dunno..

ok time to work :(

"To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain."

i love tim :)

sigh- today was a long day :/

so me and tim fell asleep at like 7 and then woke up at 12:30am last night.. then we didnt go back to bed until like 3:30am... not such a good idea if u have to get up at 7am.. i was so tired today im just like wired now..

well i actually practiced today.. and i say that with out feeling like i didnt enough.. i worked hard.. and i think i proved it in my lesson today.. and i think i know what mr wilson was talking about when he said some people practice to feel a sense of accomplishment.. i also like to prove him wrong or surprise him and it feels good to show him that i really can improve and play at a better level..."and thats why violin players are dorks..." :)

i also did my singing test today (finally) i have to say i think i did well.. of course it wasnt perfect but much better than normal... i need to project my pitch :)

oprah was about that cult in Colorado city today.. they have like 75 kids with 30 wives... crazy stuff.. and the girls have to be married at 13... it makes me so mad that something like that is happening in the US.. i mean come on.. its ridiculous.. just makes me mad..

blah... time to relax

ok... first day back from spring break.. im about to go crazy...
since im not doing as well as i should be in all of my classes i have made a resolution to 1. practice more 2. go to class and 3. do my work/study.. i know im a nerd.. but i really do need to start cracking down on all my classes... it is so hard though b/c i have sooo much to do and to make up from slacking b4.. ugh! i dont know if i can survive.. i already have a million things to do today when all i really want to do is go home and relax and be lazy with tim... ugh! i know.. u shouldnt feel sorry for me.. but thats ok.. its my fault im swamped with stuff right now... i just need to vent sometimes...

anyways.. my fish were alive when we got home yesterday! i was so happy! i thought the would have died.. so we got their tanks and bowls clean and they are all happy :) my mom even called me yesterday to see if they were alive.. she was like are your babies ok? i was like yes... and she was like ok thats the only reason i was calling.. haha she is just as obsessed with her fish though so its all good.. :)

damn orchestra to hell...

so i keep going back and forth on changing my major.. one day im like ugh i hate music and the next im like no i can do this i can tough it out.. ugh.. its like a rollercoaster.. and it didnt help that today i found out i got a 51 on my musicianship test.. that sucks hardcore! i thought i did somewhat ok but a 51 is ridiculous... like i got everything wrong.. and then the stuff that i Always get wrong i got right.. i was like wtf...

so to sum up this blog-- im frustrated with school... the end.

recycle pl (8:48:55 PM): i lub u
recycle pl(8:48:57 PM): the end

yesterday was fun

i definitely woke up past 10am yesterday! yay... i woke up at like 12.. i called tim and woke him up and he came over. we chilled over here for a bit then we went to his house b/c almost all of the fish eggs in his fish tank hatched.. there are seriously like 50 baby fish in there now.. and he thinks there are more coming... they are sooo cute! u can barely see the new ones! hehe so then we went over to his uncle's friend's house over by the race track. we hung out there for a while.. and we got some food from Exxon haha.. i didnt know u could use an Exxon gas card for the store part! im dumb.. so i told tim everytime we want fast food we should go to Exxon b/c we are poor.. then we met my family at the pool hall.. ok so when we got there i wanted to play the toy machine thing but this old man was playing it like forever.. we saw him win something and hew was still playing.. i was like ok let me try! so finally i went up there and i picked up this duck but it dropped it... so then he started playing again while i went to get more money.. and i was like no he is going to get it! but he didnt-he just moved it so i couldnt get it.. i was mad.. so i wasted 5 dollars trying to get it.. then he came over and gave me the toy he had won earlier... he said i tried to hard not to get anything.. i was like awww... so then he turned into a nice old man.. :) but then i think he was staring at me for the rest of the night which was kinda creepy.. (ok i know im a nerd..) so then we played pool for a long time.. i really suck at it.. tim beat me but i beat crystal and my mom! woohoo! then we went to Hooters... haha crystal wanted to go... i had to drive her there b/c she got drunk at the pool hall... we almost died! haha 1960 is hard to cut across! haha so then we ate and me and tim met his uncle at a place where they go and look at cars.. kinda like starbucks but it was on veterans... then we just went back to his uncles house and watched finding nemo.. i fell asleep though... i got home at like 3am... i was so tired.. blah
so we are going back to h-ville.. definitely sometime today... and i would like to say that i am privileged to have a theory test at 8am monday morning... gay...

i hope tri is happy...

i didnt see anyone (except for wendi) over springbreak :/

hey wendi.. come to huntsville again soon :)

im rich james bitch!

haha Florida was awesome!!!! it was so amazingly beautiful there! i wanna go back!

we left monday night and got there at 5am! i was so tired! so we got our hotel room and just crashed... tim's mom and misty's friend Ashley ended up coming. and there was a spa thing in the room! it was funny i have never seen a tub like that just in the middle of the room.. so me and tim got in it for a bit.. it was nice. then we went to the beach.. it was awesome! i have never seen the water so clear and blue and the sand so soft and white. it was amazing! the water was like 20 below.. so i didnt get in much. tim and misty have this weird thing about digging holes.. it was funny.. we built sand castles and buried these random guys in the sand in our hole... but the worst thing was we forgot our kite! :( oh well.. me and tim walked on the beach at night it was soo kool my favorite part was probably walking with him to the beach at night :) we drove around alot and went to stores and stuff.. we took lots of pics so look for them in the gallery.. definitely the best spring break ever.. and i got to spend it with my wonderful boyfriend :) he got sun burned bad though.. i got alittle bit sunburned the first day.. b/c tim put lotion on my shoulders and he missed a spot so i have like a sunburn around the outline of where is fingers stopped.. its kinda funny b/c u can see his fingers.. hehe the drive back sucked though.. we left yesterday morning and got here at like 9:30pm.. i was so tired and annoyed by the time we got home... it sucked but thats ok b/c Florida was awesome!

today me and tim are going to go to the spa in rice village where my aunt works and get massages! yay! Definitely could use one of those... esp. tim b/c his neck has been bothering him alot... so that should be fun.. we might go back to h-ville tongiht.. i hope stanley and sir henry are still alive!!!! opps.. ill be soo sad if they die :(

ok its time to be lazy b4 i need to get ready... tim is working til 11 so i got some time to relax :) yay

i love timmy

:)

"if tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, i'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again."

LEAVING FOR FLORIDA TODAY!!!!!!!!! AHAHHAHAHA

yay

yesterday me tim and misty and mrs penney went to costco to get food and stuff for the trip man costco is crazy... if i ever need a 30 gallon thing of anything i know where to go...
then we went to kroger and me and misty went to target and i got a new swim suit and a cute skirt :) then i dropped misty off at church and then i went back to tim's house but he wasn't there so me and mrs penney just talked for like an hour.. we talked about everything.. i love talking to her b/c she is always right about things
then tim came back home from his uncle's house then we all went back over there and hung out for a little bit.. then me and tim had tex mex AGAIN! haha i love that place :) it is soo yummy :) then we went back to tim's at like 11 something and i fell asleep.. so i came home at like 1am...

today i think im goin with my mom to garden ridge :) tim is working and sleeping all day.. then i have to go to the doctor later (DUN DUN DUN....) hopefully it wont be too bad... haha but my doctor knows how much i hate doing tests and stuff.. like when he told me that i had to do a cat scan last time he was like ok u are going to hate me.... i was like oh no! :) but anywhoo... i guess i could get ready or something...

ill be back with fun stories from FLORIDA! woohoo :)

well we are in klein...

when we got to tim's house yesterday we were looking at his fish tank and there were baby fish in it!they were so cute and tiny! haha tim is a daddy! they were so freakin small.. tim thought they were like crap floatin around but then he was like we got babies! it was funny :)

then we did some stuff for his dad and then we went to the movies with my parents.. we saw Hildalgo... it was ok i guess... kinda sad at the end but it was totally predictable.. it was fun though... i wish they would have chose someone else for the lead part.. i think it would have been better with someone else...

then after the movies we went over to tim's uncle's house... hahaha they are so funny! they were all drunk.. so we went with them over to their boss's house... it was fun :) we didnt stay long though.. then we went to tex mex but there were like 3 police cars and 2 crime scene vans there so tim was like i dont wanna go there, they are scaring me.. so i was like ok.. so we went to the other tex mex and ate burritos :) then we just drove around til like 2am then he dropped me off it was a fun night :)

i dunno what is going on today.. i think we are going to dinner with tim's parents.. and we got to look up hotels in Florida.. fun stuff!

i love timmy :)

yay for sleeping all day yesterday

me and tim had pizza and ice cream and watched tv from the back porch last night it was fun

going home sometime today..

"if a vagina was a fruit, what kinda fruit would it be?"
--"WATERMELON!"

those games on the back of the lucky charms box are hard :(

me and tim just got back from the shooting range (BLAH)...

tim told me that the other day he referred to me as his fiancee... i was like awwwwwwww it was cute :)

now i think we are just going to relax.. i still have a test tomorrow.. tim is done with class..

i think we are going to go home saturday night

we have no food :(

YAY definitely going to FLORIDA on monday! im way excited! i have never been b4. and im so glad i get to spend it with tim :)

i didnt do much today... just strings mid term and then i came back to the apartment to clean.. me and tim have just been lazy.. but we did clean jimmy today :)

i cant wait to get a tan! still need a sexy swimsuit though...

got alot of stuff out of spivey today.... mostly stuff i dont need so i can take it home and some more clothes... hahahahhaaha i cleaned out tim's clothes today.. he didnt want me too but his closet is like over flowing.. me and him have WAY too many clothes.. haha :)

i love timmy! :)

i miss wendi laura crystal and bethany


me + tim :)

"you say freak, i say unique!" -Cartoon on the WB

blah blah

powell owes me 180 dollars!

so i think me tim and maybe misty are definetly going to flordia for spring break.. im excited it should be alot of fun :)

my lesson sucked today :( i hate practicing more than anything in the world :(

my horoscope sucked today...

yay for no orchestra thursday or friday!

i love tim

randomness

i got a 95 on my cello test.. wtf! come on! im like the best in there (besides hannah!) GAY!

i need a sexy swimsuit :)

i think me and tim are going to run away and get married and not tell anyone so we can be together for ever and ever and EVER AND EVER AND EVER!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH :)

"Your everything I never knew I always wanted." -- Mattew Perry in Fools Rush In ---- isnt that a great quote??

yay for pink sparkle nail polish! :) meep!

this weekend was...well.. Interesting...

friday night i just had rehearsal so we didnt really do anything then saturday i had rehearsal at 12 then after that we meet my grandparents and my parents for ice cream. then tim's mom and misty came out and so did my uncle and aunt. then we all went to my concert. OMG i have never been so nervous in my entire life during the first movement of the Beethoven's 5th symphony.. i wanted to like explode i was soo nervous! i have never been like that. then i saw mr and mrs markuson there.. and the rest of the concert was fine.. then we went to dinner and then came back and stayed up and talked to Mrs. Penney til like 2am. i guess she doesnt care that i moved in with tim.. she didnt say anything and she isnt stupid so.. i asked misty about it and she said she doesnt care and she could never hate me so i was like ok good:)

so the next morning we were awaken with some bad news...

then misty and Mrs. penney made everyone breakfast. then they left to go home and then around 11 my parents left. but my mom called tim and said that she thinks the family apartments that me and dana had to live in for a while were on fire! i was like WOOHOO (the place is a shit hole..) so me tim and kat got in the car to go see.. ends up being the apartments across the street for our old one.. but it was still kool.. flames were like coming out of the window and everything.. it was bad

today felt like an episode of the Real World..

and we find out tonight if sean is coming to Sam or not...

got so much work to do :(

BAH

so in orchestra dr smith asked me about gaven! she was like i want his email so i can talk to him. i was like ok! so i called him to tell him that she asked about him and he is sending is application this week and he is going to audition soon! yay! im so excited! he might even come out tomorrow for our concert! that would be so awesome i miss him! :)

we hardcore cleaned the apartment today..

well i finally turned in the stuff so i can move in with tim... we'll see what happens..

favorite Dr. Roller Quote:
"that was terrible! i wish that i was paying you so then i could fire u!" -directed at the woodwinds (of course..) hahaha

ahahahahahahahaha

i have songs from chicago in my head... i love that movie :)

tim is lazy! haha aww but he is getting sick :( ill make him feel better! :)

yay for concert tomorrow night. :)

i wish i would remeber my dreams more... i havent been lately.. :(

tim is going to marry me :)

randomness

talked to brad yesterday... everything turns into and arguement with him... i dunno..

ok orchestra..

meep

hehe never let any guy (esp. powell or tim) buy a BLOWTORCH! they scare me with it... i think they are going to burn down the apartment....

AHH tim made me WALK home from my first class! ugh... hehhe its all good its not like it is far.. im just lazy! haha

i love tim

i have never been so in love.. i like it :)

"Oh lord, guide this cinder block."
- Homer Simpson

i really like horoscopes and zodic stuff if u havent noticed... :)

Taurus People born under the sign of Taurus generally make good partners and companions. They are willing to share both the good and the bad in any relationship, and are good at taking responsibility rather than leaving everything for someone else to do. (definetly me...)
Taurus is ruled by the planet Venus, symbolizing romantic love and artistic pursuits. These qualities reflect the fun- loving side of the Taurus character and provide an excellent balance for its more pragmatic qualities.
:)

now the names! (im a nerd i know but this stuff interests me..)

Medina Definition: 1) Dweller at or near the market; one who had returned from the market 2) From the city of Medina in western Saudi Arabia, the second most holy city of Islam. According to the Instituto Genealógico e Histórico Latino-Americano, the Medina surname originated principally in the Spanish areas of Burgos and Andalusia.

apprently the name April means to open up..
and the name Tim means to honor God... haha i find that ironic..

ok orchestra time...

i hate the weather... its like totally gross outside.. like the sun is out and it is hot but it is like gross humidity hot.. yuck..

anywhoo.... me and tim didnt do much last night.. just had that stupid house meeting and then we put on office space but i fell asleep..

guess who i talked to today! GURU! hahhaa i was like standing in the hall waiting for history to start and i started thinkin about him.. i have only talked to him once since he moved to colorado.. so i was like hey ill text message him and he'll probably call me later.. we he called me while i was in my seat waiting still... so i talked to him for like 2 mins. it was great. i miss him. i hope he comes down here soon or something. :)
i wish i still talked to the other kids from klein oak... i try to talk to kelley but it is just weird.. i dunno --one of those things where if u dont talk to someone in a long tim u really have nothing to talk about... kyle is on the computer alot but i have nothing to tlak to him about either... oh well.. i figured guru would be the only one i would still somewhat talk to.. everyone like kinda stopped talkin after spence died.. it was weird.. you would think that kinda thing would bring people closer.. but guess not..

blah i have an hour b4 orchestra.. so im probably just going to waste some time hehe

well i saw dana last night b/c of the house meeting... i think she said like 4 words to me... oh well.. i didnt really want to talk to her anyways.. but im done feeling bad about it.. oh well...

i really want to start looking for houses again.. im so excited to be living with tim and wendi! my two most favorite people in the world in one house with me! yay! cant wait! i know we would have the best time together.

what else.. what else... ummm... welll.. 3 hour rehersals start again tonight... only they moved them up from 4-7pm.. which is better i guess.. concert is saturday night at 7pm if anyone who reads this has any interest what-so-ever in going (probably not..) im excited about it.. the last concert i was this excited about was our TMEA performance last year.. so it should be good... my grandpa and his wife are coming out and maybe uncle john and aunt debbie.. yay

i wonder how many people actually read this.. i mean i know tim and wendi do ( hi yall!) and crystal too.. but who else? mmmmmmmm (as i scratch my chin in a robin hood type fashion..)

I MISS CAMILLE!

ok i think im done... well maybe not.. hahha

hehehehe

ok what is up with people waisting my time today... 1st my dentist and now the RM at the house meeting... she talked for less than 2 mins.. seriously.. i was like ok..

BAH!

ok im done!

oh no no wait! ahhaha i remeber what else i was going to say!

today me and tim were at wal mart and the lights went out!! haha i was like wtf! but like the regualr lights came back on but the big huge ones have to wait like 5 mins b4 they can come back on again so the whole store was dark! it was weird.. i kinda liked it.. it was like we were at a lock-in at wal mart! hahahhahahahahahaha but then the lights came back on...

MEEP!!!!!!!!!!!

felt like finding quotes...

"Love is friendship set to music."
~E. Joseph Crossmann~

"Do you love me because I am beautiful,
or am I beautiful because you love me?"
~Cinderella~
(i love this movie!) ( i can sing the whole song but i wont hehe)

"Love is a canvas furnished by Nature
and embroidered by imagination."
~Voltaire~


"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."
-Alexander Smith

Today's Motivational Quote:
There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be, all you need is love.
-- The Beatles
Where I'm from means nothing, Where I'm going means everything.


Comforting..

im a little bummed right now.. im trying to watch i love lucy to cheer me up but its not working..
BLAH!!!!!!! why cant things just be perfect... thats my main thought right now... maybe i just over analyze things... i hating thinking about things b/c i get all worried and freaked out that i make my self sick(literally)..

here is a poem that i wrote last year when i was really really down after everyting that happened senior year.. i have never let anyone read it b/c.. well..it explains in the poem...

Secret Unhappiness

Its hard to be happy
when all things are wrong
but you try to be positive
and try to be strong
but you keep your pain a secret
trying to let no one see
hiding in your sadness
in your false reality.
You are afraid no one will understand
just what you are going through,
And you dont want to explain it
to those who will listen to you.
So you live with this secret unhappiness
not knowing when it will go away
but you want to be yourself again
so every night you pray.

blah. i feel like bad posting that b/c it is a part of me that i dont share with other people.. mostly b/c i just dont want to.. but im sure there are other reasons.. so heres for me putting a piece of myself out there.. (dont laugh) :)

:( i have to get my wisdom teeth out! :( stupid dentist...

me and tim were in klein last night b/c i had a dentist appointment this morning... he didnt even look at my teeth! he just looked at an x-ray froma year ago.. he was like ya u need to see a surgon.. i was like great... grrr

el paso was awesome

Thursday - the drive there wasn't so bad i slept most of the way. we were towing 5 giant hay bails(5 tons) behind Powell's truck. we looked like total hicks. we were so crapped in the truck me and tim sat in the back and Powell Kat and Mexican Johnny sat in the front. there was no room for our luggage so we tied it to the hay and the bed box in the back haha then of course someone got pulled over.. Mexican Johnny was going 74 in a 65 haha just a warning though.. scared the shit out of him, literally... haha so we got there around 4am. i had to sleep with out Tim :( it was terrible hehe
friday - so the next day we went to the voting polls so powell could vote with his mom. then we all went to the horse race track to eat lunch. while we were there we decided to place some bets of our own.. tim and i bet that the #2 horse would win and the #9 horse would come in second.. well.. everyone thought that we had won b/c the #2 horse got first and it was a close call for the #9. so we got all excited but then we were like awww b/c turns out the #9 horse got 4th haha oh well.. then we got home and powell showed us how to be farmers.. we started off cutting the balls off of two cows.. it was gross.. cows have huge nuts! powell got taken down by one of the cows it was funny nuts were flying! haha then we unloaded the hay and tim and powell were rolling it around. we had to get mexican johnny's tractor and drive it over to powell's on the way over the tractor got a flat. then b4 that johnny got in a wreck with a school bus! haha it backed into him it just wasnt a good day for the mexican.. after we finished gettin the hay out, the boys drank beers and picked up cow shit and i got to ride a horse! it was my 1st time haha it was fun but i was scared..then we fed the animals the new hay.. then we all got cleaned up and then we went to dinner at a pizzeria with kat's family. after that we picked up kat's friend katie and went to the boarder. we paid our 35 cents and went across the bridge to mexico. all the poor people on the bridge kept buggin us for money.. so we got to the club where all the American kids go and got some drinks. i drank margaritas and tim and powell had tequila and corona. i had two margaritas in like 15 mins so i was gone pretty quick.. it made me really tired and made my stomach hurt bad. tim was takin like 3 shots at one time so he got fucked up. so we decided to leave around 12 b/c we were all tired.. so we walked back over the bridge and the lady at customs was giving powell a hard time haha so we went back to powell's "house" and tim threw up all night.. i mean really.. every 15 mins.. and tim sounds like he is throwing up his stomach so i was woken up every time. he finally stopped at like 8 in the morning.. so we finally got to sleep some. we missed breakfast but sleep was so much better.. when we got up we found powell and his brother and dad trying the get their tractor on the lat bed trailer we brought the hay on. turns out it didnt fit.. so they had to drive it like 30 miles to get repaired. me and tim stayed behind and watched a movie. then for lunch we went to WEINERSCHNITZEL! haha it was yummy and the girls that worked there were hittin on tim- he got an extra chili dog! haha then we had nothing to do so me tim powell and kat we off roading in new mexico. powell is crazy- he was like hey lets drive off the side of this cliff! so i was like uh no so we went to the other part of the desert. we saw where they store wind generator blades. they were freaking huge. so we drove around in the desert some and then powell's brother puppet met us out there with their guns. everyone was shootin except for me.. so then i look up and tim is bleeding from his forehead.. he was shooting a gun with a scope on it and he was too close to the scope and it cut is face when he fired it.. the sad thing is puppet did the same thing right after tim did except he didnt get cut..then i was talking to wendi on the phone and she said she is definitely coming to Sam next year! YAY! hehehe then we went over to kat's house and hung out and played pool. powell and kat got to ride her brother-in-law's dirt bike. they were going pretty fast and they pissed the neighbors off haha her dad made hamburgers and stuff for dinner. after we ate kat's family tried to get us to play hearts.. i was like hell no! haha so we finally got out of there and we were going to go out to the desert and make a fire. but then we found out that we had to be home early so we could actually get some sleep. so we decided to go to the desert anyways.. we made a fire and drank beers out there. it was really fun. then we just came home and went to bed. we got up early soo we can hit the road as soon as possible. We got back to the apartment around 9:30pm the ride back wasn't as bad either. It was fun stuff yay us!
pics will be up in the gallery soon! :)